He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
