I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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