Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
God I need to hump something, right now.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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