Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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