i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
