so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
