My first STD was from a foam party
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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