There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
