Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
