You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
My pussy is not your playground.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
