To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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