Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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