She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
