if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
