you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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