Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Randomize
