my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize