all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
