my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I have tasted many bathrooms
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize