i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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