Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
