they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize