Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
