This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
