Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
