Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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