White coat. Heels.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
