My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
