Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
