I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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