i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
