"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
