She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
