So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
