I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
True strength comes from lack of pants
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
