and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
