I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I wish they made helmets for livers.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
