There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
