do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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