I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
