Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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