He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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