Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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