I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
she smelled like a LAN party
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
