zippers are such a cool invention
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
The Olympian is in my bed
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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