so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
