Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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