You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
