My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
