You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
