Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
