I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
