My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
