i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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