So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Randomize
