I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
