Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
