Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
