we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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