I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize
