the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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