3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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